1,803 Things

How many things do you think in a day? And how many of those are things you've thought before? Science tells us that over the age of 23.5 our thoughts are increasingly skewed toward repetition, cliché and confirmation bias. This book contains over 1,800 poignant observations on the wonderful meaninglessness of existence. Whether it's cetacean sex toys, Tourette's-inflicted mimes, or the flavor profiles of flatulence from 16th century nobles, you'll increase the number of things you think in a given day by as much as 683%, making you a full 6.8 times as smart as you were before you began the book. So continue with your tedious quotidian existence, or pony up a few dollars and dive into a world of post-prandial suicide lobster bibs and sentient intestinal parasites. The choice is yours.