Daffodils

Louise has revealed the harrowing story in which she reflects on her life and the bridge incident that shook her family to the core.

Content warning: suicide.

2019. Dawn. The River Humber. A misty February walk. Surprise early daffodils. A picture taken. Then forgotten. Because five hours later my world shattered.

My mother jumped off the Humber Bridge. Had those yellow flowers not delayed me, I might have been there. Could I have stopped her?

In the aftermath of this violent act, I turned to my writing, to my beloved siblings, to our only uncle. I was forced to look at events that led to this suicide attempt. At relationships wrecked by alcoholism. At chronic depression. At our care records. At my childhood. At my mother. At buried trauma never fully explored before. At myself ...

When I much later found the picture of those surprise daffodils, I knew it was time to write about that day. I began typing the story that inspired so many of my fictional characters, that shaped the testing things they endured.

My own story.

'Authentic, unflinching and moving. Written with compassion and humanity and a great deal of love.'
SE Lynes, author of The Housewarming

'Louise Beech has such a lovely way with words.' (on Maria in the Moon)
Nudge Magazine

'Haunting, brave, and brilliant.'
Gill Paul, author of The Second Marriage

'A powerful memoir making sense of a complicated childhood.'
Madeleine Black

'Upsetting, uplifting, and inspiring.'
John Marrs, bestselling author of The Good Samaritan